How?!
Sigh!
i am missing something miserably much!
it's going to be third year!
i think my heart is not weak at all. Having heart throbbing and tears shedding moments for so many times yet i still give in and lend my hands out.
How many times i should be cut by your knife?
Ps: im just exaggerating. writer here is a healthy person who is scared of bleeding. and a Christian. Dont worry.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
im a sinner (draft)
Why is it so hard and ridiculous?
we are asked to honor our parents. yes. i follow and agree with this since i was born. i always try hard not to raise any argument with my parents for the sake of the family and be as obedient as i can. And yeah, this action and thought are fine enough to lead me to a good life ( they are providing me most of the necessities in life ), shaping my image as a good daughter as well.
But, i never thought that this has become my biggest problem and fell in to the sin of duality.
On the first day of trusting Jesus, i am no longer a good daughter to them and they are now seeing me as a rebellious kid. It's all because of i started not to follow the rules of taoism, refusing to worship my dad's 'god'. Just because of this, THIS!!! i am being called a disobedient girl. Arguments are everywhere when i seek for permission to go to learn more about God. As i know that they dont really like me to go to church, last time i even started lying to them saying that i am in school to study. How ridiculous. How selfish and sinful. We are asked to do things that glorify our God. Since they dont even know that i am going to His church, what is it good for this lie? i fell into a sin called individualism. But if i dont do so, what should i do then? bla, but current situation is better than before because i am permitted to go to church twice per month. i refrain myself from lying. No lie is good. You will pay out your trust from them to you. i certainly dislike it.
I really hate my current situation. but i will keep trusting God that He has a plan on me, edifying me, sanctifying me in His way. Please God, please dont stop guiding me through this obstacle. Even when i am weak and start falling, i myself am wicked, please God, rebuke me, so that i can grow in the wisdom of Yours. i praise out loud of your great name and your purpose. Let your kingdom come as soon as possible although i might fail your judgement. But God, we are asked to be God centered, let the will of yours be done but not mine. we are just nothing compared to you. So God, whatever it is, please, i am blameless and obey your order. Dear God, please help and stop me from sinning and follow human's wisdom because i hate them.
we are asked to honor our parents. yes. i follow and agree with this since i was born. i always try hard not to raise any argument with my parents for the sake of the family and be as obedient as i can. And yeah, this action and thought are fine enough to lead me to a good life ( they are providing me most of the necessities in life ), shaping my image as a good daughter as well.
But, i never thought that this has become my biggest problem and fell in to the sin of duality.
On the first day of trusting Jesus, i am no longer a good daughter to them and they are now seeing me as a rebellious kid. It's all because of i started not to follow the rules of taoism, refusing to worship my dad's 'god'. Just because of this, THIS!!! i am being called a disobedient girl. Arguments are everywhere when i seek for permission to go to learn more about God. As i know that they dont really like me to go to church, last time i even started lying to them saying that i am in school to study. How ridiculous. How selfish and sinful. We are asked to do things that glorify our God. Since they dont even know that i am going to His church, what is it good for this lie? i fell into a sin called individualism. But if i dont do so, what should i do then? bla, but current situation is better than before because i am permitted to go to church twice per month. i refrain myself from lying. No lie is good. You will pay out your trust from them to you. i certainly dislike it.
I really hate my current situation. but i will keep trusting God that He has a plan on me, edifying me, sanctifying me in His way. Please God, please dont stop guiding me through this obstacle. Even when i am weak and start falling, i myself am wicked, please God, rebuke me, so that i can grow in the wisdom of Yours. i praise out loud of your great name and your purpose. Let your kingdom come as soon as possible although i might fail your judgement. But God, we are asked to be God centered, let the will of yours be done but not mine. we are just nothing compared to you. So God, whatever it is, please, i am blameless and obey your order. Dear God, please help and stop me from sinning and follow human's wisdom because i hate them.
it's a happy post yo!
i just got my results back!! and YAYYYY!! i can enjoy my holidays without worries! My seniors told me that Sem 5 is the most free semester among the eight, i am glad that i have the opportunity to enjoy it, too :3
What made me happy is that i finally found a friend who is willing to do bible study with me! :D yay~ my next step towards ministry and serve for His Church was done. i am going to listen to all the sermons of Heidelberg Catechism to improve my knowledge about Christianity.
http://www.cerc.com.my/sermons/heidelberg/
Not only that, to make sure my teaching line has its uniformity, i seriously need to be more discipline so that i can finish the book According to plan on time, i have not finished a quarter of it until now. Ampun ampun. haha. God's wisdom is seriously the coolest thing that i learned so far in my life! How great and how wonderful the privilege to be His children through Jesus Christ ! <3
it's a happy day. :) i hope that everyday i am not depressed anymore :) haha.
Great love from Jesus for me.
What made me happy is that i finally found a friend who is willing to do bible study with me! :D yay~ my next step towards ministry and serve for His Church was done. i am going to listen to all the sermons of Heidelberg Catechism to improve my knowledge about Christianity.
http://www.cerc.com.my/sermons/heidelberg/
Not only that, to make sure my teaching line has its uniformity, i seriously need to be more discipline so that i can finish the book According to plan on time, i have not finished a quarter of it until now. Ampun ampun. haha. God's wisdom is seriously the coolest thing that i learned so far in my life! How great and how wonderful the privilege to be His children through Jesus Christ ! <3
it's a happy day. :) i hope that everyday i am not depressed anymore :) haha.
Great love from Jesus for me.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
not a pleasant post again.
It's weird. i seldom write something that sounds happy. Instead, i blog more often when i am depressed.
Oh well, no one reads about my blog so it does not matter i think.
i think, i am tired, once again.
Is this my third time of having such recurrence?
i guess i need to put more and more efforts in it. But how much is enough? how much is more? i am tired. Please tell me the exact value.
My friends who care about me scolded that 'the one not be named' as bastard for me.
i feel like saying bad stuff about him, too. But nah, forget about it. i just cant do it. im just too nice. HAHA
My shield was broken once again. Then, i am tired to repair it.
Heart is just like naked DNA. As it can be invaded by any cDNA randomly. i dont think heat-shock is essential step for this round.
God, i am silly enough to pray for him, forgive forgive. He is still my brother-in-Christ. So, love him, Carmen. pray pray pray....
Oh well, no one reads about my blog so it does not matter i think.
i think, i am tired, once again.
Is this my third time of having such recurrence?
i guess i need to put more and more efforts in it. But how much is enough? how much is more? i am tired. Please tell me the exact value.
My friends who care about me scolded that 'the one not be named' as bastard for me.
i feel like saying bad stuff about him, too. But nah, forget about it. i just cant do it. im just too nice. HAHA
My shield was broken once again. Then, i am tired to repair it.
Heart is just like naked DNA. As it can be invaded by any cDNA randomly. i dont think heat-shock is essential step for this round.
God, i am silly enough to pray for him, forgive forgive. He is still my brother-in-Christ. So, love him, Carmen. pray pray pray....
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Never cease to thank you for your Grace
Because of your Grace, i am brought to life again.
i Thank you God.
Suffering for Christ is a blessing. As i am given Holy Spirit to dwell in me, i reject the things that is not for God. Problems around me also reflect to me that without God i can do nothing as i am just a mere human. Holding the rope to Christ is the only matter what i can rely on. i have lost my family in the sense that i am a source of unhappiness in my family. My mother confessed to me that this year is the saddest and most depressing year for her. In worldly says, i am a failure and worst daughter to them. Whenever i am at home, the atmosphere changes and tense up. No laughter but dead silence. The topic of the conversation is dull and talk no more about life as all of us have different goal and direction in life. To me my life i directed it to Christ, but to them is still the same, the worldly things that they always pursue for. i lost the supports from both my brother and mother. And my brother seem like dont bother about my existence at all just like my father has been doing on me right now. Mother sometimes falls into sleep with cries in silent. i hide up myself in my room and pray for peace in my family, pray hard for strength so that i wont lose my hope in Christ. i feel deeply lonely. i am scared. Ever since i was born to this world, this is the worst obstacle in my life. Family is always our greatest source of support. Home should be the most comfortable place in the world. But family and home are no longer like that for me.
i am bringing a sword and tear up the peaceful atmosphere in my family.
i made her cries and yells to me.
''WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER?!''
''what have the pastor done on you?! where are you?!''
i love her.
but nothing i can do besides praying to God.
nothing i can do beside crying under blanket.
i am shivering and my hands are shaking.
as i am scared for nothing i can hold on to.
i need something to hold and rely on. Something solid.
what a weakling me. crazy human.
Persevere and endure, in hope of second coming of Christ. Be joyful that i am really living in this world and be suffered for Him. i am not alone. Keep praying no matter how much more tears will shed in nights.
In Christ.
i Thank you God.
Suffering for Christ is a blessing. As i am given Holy Spirit to dwell in me, i reject the things that is not for God. Problems around me also reflect to me that without God i can do nothing as i am just a mere human. Holding the rope to Christ is the only matter what i can rely on. i have lost my family in the sense that i am a source of unhappiness in my family. My mother confessed to me that this year is the saddest and most depressing year for her. In worldly says, i am a failure and worst daughter to them. Whenever i am at home, the atmosphere changes and tense up. No laughter but dead silence. The topic of the conversation is dull and talk no more about life as all of us have different goal and direction in life. To me my life i directed it to Christ, but to them is still the same, the worldly things that they always pursue for. i lost the supports from both my brother and mother. And my brother seem like dont bother about my existence at all just like my father has been doing on me right now. Mother sometimes falls into sleep with cries in silent. i hide up myself in my room and pray for peace in my family, pray hard for strength so that i wont lose my hope in Christ. i feel deeply lonely. i am scared. Ever since i was born to this world, this is the worst obstacle in my life. Family is always our greatest source of support. Home should be the most comfortable place in the world. But family and home are no longer like that for me.
i am bringing a sword and tear up the peaceful atmosphere in my family.
i made her cries and yells to me.
''WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER?!''
''what have the pastor done on you?! where are you?!''
i love her.
but nothing i can do besides praying to God.
nothing i can do beside crying under blanket.
i am shivering and my hands are shaking.
as i am scared for nothing i can hold on to.
i need something to hold and rely on. Something solid.
what a weakling me. crazy human.
Persevere and endure, in hope of second coming of Christ. Be joyful that i am really living in this world and be suffered for Him. i am not alone. Keep praying no matter how much more tears will shed in nights.
In Christ.
Friday, April 20, 2012
i am a liar.
i lied again. And this time might just put an end to that matter. i guess the truth will never be revealed to the protagonist of the story. Protagonist deserved to know but the narrator planned to blind him. Since the beginning of the story started with a lie, it ended with a lie as well. The truth will only be known by the narrator herself. She edited the story. The truth will be buried and no one knows when the day she leaves the world. Anyhow, the road is still long, protagonist and narrator are just mere humans, no one can foresee the future. The main Plotter of the story is neither two of them. No one can control the story except the main Plotter.
You are my stories
Unread stories
You are my stories
Unread stories
When I gazed at your eyes
I could see an unknown country
Stories with their doors opened
Stories that won't ever close again
Stories with their doors opened
Stories that won't ever close again
Destiny is unchangeable
Let's go to an unknown country
I want to protect you
Just with that wish alone
In this pitch-black world
Until the moment when light overflows
I want to protect you
Just with that wish alone
In this pitch-black world
Until the moment when light overflows
You are my stories
Unread stories
You are my stories
Unread stories
When I gazed at your eyes
I could see an unknown country
Stories with their doors opened
Stories that won't ever close again
Stories with their doors opened
Stories that won't ever close again
Destiny is unchangeable
Let's go to an unknown country
I want to protect you
Just with that wish alone
In this pitch-black world
Until the moment when light overflows
I want to protect you
Just with that wish alone
In this pitch-black world
Until the moment when light overflows
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Partner
Ever thought of finding a partner is really serious matter? Due to my background, i had been aware of this is not just a lovey dovey matter between you and him/she, or romantic feelings towards your so called soulmate, 'without you i cant live' theory, ' you jump i jump ' theory, etc. To me, it is something which is going to bring tonne of problems into your life. D: Trying to imagine two persons from different planet are trying to live together. Moreover, God created woman and man in different ways, proportions of each hormones in male and female are different, God gave different tasks and gift to male and female.. wow! Huge chunk of problems! Not only that, people, parents are still alive, i am unsure about how a relationship can still be continued if his parents dont think that im good enough for his son. What if he is willing to fight with his parents for you, err.. do you feel fine or good when you see such thing happens on your beloved with his family? Definitly Not! How would you feel great when you see yourself is a troublemaker to your love one?! Whenever i have a slight thought of 'lets get into a relationship!' , i feel greatly depressed and fear. (well, it's a sinful thought, i m still working hard on it, trying to get rid of my selfish thought, selfish in the way that im thinking myself too weak to handle it, so i dont want to have partner, neglecting the fact that partnership also involves another person to help me to make it works ) It isnt because of i dislike guys or what, but since i feel myself cant even deal with relationships with parents peaceful enough, and God ultimately, at this current time, this is really not an appropriate time to drag myself into another problem. Another funny comment that i received from friends : '' you dont dare to find a partner, is it because you are scared of sex in the future? you find sex is dirty? '' ... to be honest, in the past yes, i was scared of giving out myself to male, but err.. really, nah, sex to me isnt a reason for me not to think about marriage. Main reason is i am afraid that i have no time to commit myself into one more new relationship -larr.. UNLESS, :( that guy doesnt mind it at all? lol. aih.
Since last year onwards, some of my friends fell in love with non - believer. and some even started dating._. sigh. dont feel offended. i just dont get it why. As you always say that you love God, and we must always put our mighty God in the first place, why you still want to date with non believer? i understand that we are wicked men and sometimes we just cant help it to control our feelings, but why do you act it out, started to date? Importantly, you are a serious person and always see your dating partner would be the one you marry with. Do you forget the fact that our body is owned by God? And our flesh is part of the body of Christ! Marriage is the union between you and your partner, and both of you are connected to each other after marriage. Marriage is the formal covenant in front of God. So when you are united to a non-believer, isnt that you are trying to connect a non-God's people with Christ's body? Although he/she is nice, kindhearted, but as she/he is a non Christian, meaning he/she is not godly, isnt it that he/she .. sorry to say that, he/she has no different with prostitute in front of God's sight? Our God hates unjustice, as he/she is not justice in His's eyes, are you trying to make God angry???? :( i feel sad whenever i heard their matters. Is this showing that you love yourself more than God already? :( i love my brothers and sisters - in - Christ... whyyyyy???
Perhaps you would say that we cant predict our future, who knows that he/she can be converted? And so i have a doubt again. Then who you are? How do you know that you can change him/her? Everything is controlled and planned by God, everything is worked by Him but not by our efforts, without His will or His Grace, nothing will work. Perhaps you have a good intention when you started to date with him/her- evangelism. But wait, partnership is not only about evangelism right? if you really want to share the gospel, wont your interest has been divided? you might focus on him/her growth besides the others.
i dont wish to see any friends of me get trapped in this matter again. aiyoo..sorry to hear that, really, and i cant congratulate you although you have found your so called 'soulmate' . Instead, i was really sad to hear about it.
Be God-centered, my brothers and sisters in Christ. We Love our God More than anything else.
Ps: if you feel that im not understanding and i might be the same as you guys if this happens on me, nah, the truth is that i ever had crush with non-christian. He is nice, smart, leader-liked, etc, sometimes i even felt that he is really suitable for me, but i never dare to put any hope on him after i knew Christ, trying hard and working hard to be God centered. And i thank God that i worked it through, but still keep working on to avoid myself from sinning, praying for strength and provision from God. phewww.. aih.. hard wei..uwah..
:) add oil Carmen. hah...
Since last year onwards, some of my friends fell in love with non - believer. and some even started dating._. sigh. dont feel offended. i just dont get it why. As you always say that you love God, and we must always put our mighty God in the first place, why you still want to date with non believer? i understand that we are wicked men and sometimes we just cant help it to control our feelings, but why do you act it out, started to date? Importantly, you are a serious person and always see your dating partner would be the one you marry with. Do you forget the fact that our body is owned by God? And our flesh is part of the body of Christ! Marriage is the union between you and your partner, and both of you are connected to each other after marriage. Marriage is the formal covenant in front of God. So when you are united to a non-believer, isnt that you are trying to connect a non-God's people with Christ's body? Although he/she is nice, kindhearted, but as she/he is a non Christian, meaning he/she is not godly, isnt it that he/she .. sorry to say that, he/she has no different with prostitute in front of God's sight? Our God hates unjustice, as he/she is not justice in His's eyes, are you trying to make God angry???? :( i feel sad whenever i heard their matters. Is this showing that you love yourself more than God already? :( i love my brothers and sisters - in - Christ... whyyyyy???
Perhaps you would say that we cant predict our future, who knows that he/she can be converted? And so i have a doubt again. Then who you are? How do you know that you can change him/her? Everything is controlled and planned by God, everything is worked by Him but not by our efforts, without His will or His Grace, nothing will work. Perhaps you have a good intention when you started to date with him/her- evangelism. But wait, partnership is not only about evangelism right? if you really want to share the gospel, wont your interest has been divided? you might focus on him/her growth besides the others.
i dont wish to see any friends of me get trapped in this matter again. aiyoo..sorry to hear that, really, and i cant congratulate you although you have found your so called 'soulmate' . Instead, i was really sad to hear about it.
Be God-centered, my brothers and sisters in Christ. We Love our God More than anything else.
Ps: if you feel that im not understanding and i might be the same as you guys if this happens on me, nah, the truth is that i ever had crush with non-christian. He is nice, smart, leader-liked, etc, sometimes i even felt that he is really suitable for me, but i never dare to put any hope on him after i knew Christ, trying hard and working hard to be God centered. And i thank God that i worked it through, but still keep working on to avoid myself from sinning, praying for strength and provision from God. phewww.. aih.. hard wei..uwah..
:) add oil Carmen. hah...
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Fish and water.
Fish: you are so beautiful. i think im in love with you.
Water: you silly being, it's just a sudden affection.
Fish: really! i wont lie to you.
Water: i dont believe in love at first sight.
Day by day, the fish's feeling towards the water wasnt faded away but grew even stronger.
Fish: i like to be with you.
Water: it's due to you have get used to tag along with me.
Fish: i like your scent.
Water: it's because of you have get used to my existence.
Few days later, water wanted to leave and started its journey.
Fish: i cant leave you and want to stay with you forever.
Water: by time passes by, you will forget about me.
Fish: no! i will not fall in love with the others except you.
Water: it's because that you havent met other people besides me right now.
Fish: you are my everything.
Water: but you are not to me.
Fish: what are you longing for?
Water: the sea is my only one.
Fish: couldnt you stay here for my sake?
Water: no, i really have to go, or else i will lose my chance to meet the sea.
Fish: can i come with you?
Water: you will never ever follow up my pace.
Fish: cant you stop a while for my sake?
Water: i love to proceed with my plan without resting.
Fish: no matter what, i will swim and stay with you until you reach your destination.
Water: dont be silly, you are just a river fish.
Fish: i dont want you to be alone whenever you face obstacles.
Water: i will not appreciate your kindness.
Fish: i dont ask for it, i just want to stay with you.
Water: you know, i will love you back.
Fish: it's my own decision to love you dear.
Water: you are just getting to hurt yourself.
They reached the big river, the fish had half of its life remained.
Fish: i am unsure if i still can follow you or not.
Water: please go back home, this kind of life doenst suit you at all.
Fish: no, i will not give up.
Water: you idiot.. please be rational.
Fish: yes i am an idiot, can you accept the love from me?
Water: you should know that my heart belongs to the sea only.
Fish: why dont you try to love me?
Water: i only believe that the sea is the right one for me.
They continue their journey, fish's lifespan left for about a quarter.
Fish: how will you be if i m no longer be with you?
Water: i will be down.
Fish: what if the person is the sea?
Water: my heart will be broken, and i will die along with the sea.
Fish: why? i always stay with you, isnt it even more precious than the sea whom you havent even met it yet?
Water: living together without feeling is just some spare memories.
Fish: you believe that the sea will love you back?
Water: Sea is my only dream, my desire and i will never give up on it.
Fish kept silent and continued the remaining distance towards the sea.
Finally, both of them met the sea.
Water saw the sea but it knew that it will never be the only one for the sea.
the sea was so great and it had a lot of companies around it.
Water disliked it and it decided to leave.
At this moment, water thought of the fish, but the fish will be death soon.
Fish: i saw the sea, it's beautiful, i agree,the sea deserves you more.
Water: but i feel the sea is too mysterious.
Fish: dont worry, im sure that one day the sea will fall in love with you as well.
Water: i think i made a wrong decision.
Fish: you silly, your love to sea is so great, it isnt wrong kay?
Water: i am an idiot, why i never love you back although you never leave me always?
Fish: i think i no longer can fulfill that promise.
Water: cant you just stay again for my sake?
Fish: ... it's my decision to love you, but i never ask for you to take up this responsibility.
Water: why i was so stubborn last time and didnt love you back?!
Fish: please dont say that, i will not feel well at all to leave like this.
Water: why you always treat me so good, i....
Fish: forget about me, try to find someone better kay?
Water: no, i realised that you are the only one who deserve my love.
Fish: but i dont have time for you anymore.. sorry.
Water: i had missed all the chances that you gave me last time! i dont want to miss it again!!!
Fish: ....
Water: i think i really fall in love with you, my fish.
Fish: ah, you cant see my tear right? because im in you.
Water: no! i can feel it!! because you are in my heart.
Fish passed away with a smile, a heart was broken.
Fish:
Water:
Water: you silly being, it's just a sudden affection.
Fish: really! i wont lie to you.
Water: i dont believe in love at first sight.
Day by day, the fish's feeling towards the water wasnt faded away but grew even stronger.
Fish: i like to be with you.
Water: it's due to you have get used to tag along with me.
Fish: i like your scent.
Water: it's because of you have get used to my existence.
Few days later, water wanted to leave and started its journey.
Fish: i cant leave you and want to stay with you forever.
Water: by time passes by, you will forget about me.
Fish: no! i will not fall in love with the others except you.
Water: it's because that you havent met other people besides me right now.
Fish: you are my everything.
Water: but you are not to me.
Fish: what are you longing for?
Water: the sea is my only one.
Fish: couldnt you stay here for my sake?
Water: no, i really have to go, or else i will lose my chance to meet the sea.
Fish: can i come with you?
Water: you will never ever follow up my pace.
Fish: cant you stop a while for my sake?
Water: i love to proceed with my plan without resting.
Fish: no matter what, i will swim and stay with you until you reach your destination.
Water: dont be silly, you are just a river fish.
Fish: i dont want you to be alone whenever you face obstacles.
Water: i will not appreciate your kindness.
Fish: i dont ask for it, i just want to stay with you.
Water: you know, i will love you back.
Fish: it's my own decision to love you dear.
Water: you are just getting to hurt yourself.
They reached the big river, the fish had half of its life remained.
Fish: i am unsure if i still can follow you or not.
Water: please go back home, this kind of life doenst suit you at all.
Fish: no, i will not give up.
Water: you idiot.. please be rational.
Fish: yes i am an idiot, can you accept the love from me?
Water: you should know that my heart belongs to the sea only.
Fish: why dont you try to love me?
Water: i only believe that the sea is the right one for me.
They continue their journey, fish's lifespan left for about a quarter.
Fish: how will you be if i m no longer be with you?
Water: i will be down.
Fish: what if the person is the sea?
Water: my heart will be broken, and i will die along with the sea.
Fish: why? i always stay with you, isnt it even more precious than the sea whom you havent even met it yet?
Water: living together without feeling is just some spare memories.
Fish: you believe that the sea will love you back?
Water: Sea is my only dream, my desire and i will never give up on it.
Fish kept silent and continued the remaining distance towards the sea.
Finally, both of them met the sea.
Water saw the sea but it knew that it will never be the only one for the sea.
the sea was so great and it had a lot of companies around it.
Water disliked it and it decided to leave.
At this moment, water thought of the fish, but the fish will be death soon.
Fish: i saw the sea, it's beautiful, i agree,the sea deserves you more.
Water: but i feel the sea is too mysterious.
Fish: dont worry, im sure that one day the sea will fall in love with you as well.
Water: i think i made a wrong decision.
Fish: you silly, your love to sea is so great, it isnt wrong kay?
Water: i am an idiot, why i never love you back although you never leave me always?
Fish: i think i no longer can fulfill that promise.
Water: cant you just stay again for my sake?
Fish: ... it's my decision to love you, but i never ask for you to take up this responsibility.
Water: why i was so stubborn last time and didnt love you back?!
Fish: please dont say that, i will not feel well at all to leave like this.
Water: why you always treat me so good, i....
Fish: forget about me, try to find someone better kay?
Water: no, i realised that you are the only one who deserve my love.
Fish: but i dont have time for you anymore.. sorry.
Water: i had missed all the chances that you gave me last time! i dont want to miss it again!!!
Fish: ....
Water: i think i really fall in love with you, my fish.
Fish: ah, you cant see my tear right? because im in you.
Water: no! i can feel it!! because you are in my heart.
Fish passed away with a smile, a heart was broken.
Fish:
Water:
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
wait. patience!
what is wrong with being single?
doesnt it better just to be patient?
:)
i believe in my God will provide what i need :) thank you!
Perhaps, staying single is the best condition for the current me? Because i know that i am still too immature to handle relationship well enough :)
Relationship with God,
Relationship with parents,
Relationship with family members,
Relationship with friends,
Relationship with teachers,
Relationship with ........
Just be patient, just wait. Because God also knows that i need time to stabalise various kind of relationships that i mentioned above. heh ~ ^^ before proceeding to next stage :)
doesnt it better just to be patient?
:)
i believe in my God will provide what i need :) thank you!
Perhaps, staying single is the best condition for the current me? Because i know that i am still too immature to handle relationship well enough :)
Relationship with God,
Relationship with parents,
Relationship with family members,
Relationship with friends,
Relationship with teachers,
Relationship with ........
Just be patient, just wait. Because God also knows that i need time to stabalise various kind of relationships that i mentioned above. heh ~ ^^ before proceeding to next stage :)
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Recurrence
Nah, it is not about the feeling towards the guy i love though. It's about the recurrence of a thought which i planned to carry out since i was a teenager. (i know right, my look is like a 15 year old girl, but the truth is i am turning 21 soon)
These few days were gloomy.
i was scared.
i never felt that way so strong again.
The more i grew, more thoughts that i imagined or dreamed of happened in my life right now, or becoming more and more realistic. They became something that i can achieve in the future.
Both bad and good ones.
i have been trying to throw away my previous self. But it seems like, they try to stick back to me again.
i am scared and confused with what i want right now.
i had been crying at night till morning. That's the only period that i can hide away my tears silently without my mother knows about it. i am unsure if my brother heard to my cry or not.
i..
started to lose my faith and belief towards males again.
i..
started not to believe in marriage.
i..
have a thought of being a sister or nun in the future once again.
Attachment and love are scary.
i am afraid of loving.
No one i can trust now until i started to imagine out my 'imaginary friend' to accompany me.
People believe that God is the representative of love.
But us the sinners, broke and cut the perfect relationship between us and the Holy God, until we no longer understand Him. And now, i dont understand love, like how i dont understand my God.
today was a gloomy day, and i cry.
These few days were gloomy.
i was scared.
i never felt that way so strong again.
The more i grew, more thoughts that i imagined or dreamed of happened in my life right now, or becoming more and more realistic. They became something that i can achieve in the future.
Both bad and good ones.
i have been trying to throw away my previous self. But it seems like, they try to stick back to me again.
i am scared and confused with what i want right now.
i had been crying at night till morning. That's the only period that i can hide away my tears silently without my mother knows about it. i am unsure if my brother heard to my cry or not.
i..
started to lose my faith and belief towards males again.
i..
started not to believe in marriage.
i..
have a thought of being a sister or nun in the future once again.
Attachment and love are scary.
i am afraid of loving.
No one i can trust now until i started to imagine out my 'imaginary friend' to accompany me.
People believe that God is the representative of love.
But us the sinners, broke and cut the perfect relationship between us and the Holy God, until we no longer understand Him. And now, i dont understand love, like how i dont understand my God.
today was a gloomy day, and i cry.
Friday, November 25, 2011
The Movie Day!
Yesterday was a great day and experience for me again!
i woke up at 3am something, yeah, i never thought of changing my biological clock until now. My previous Math teacher always complaint about it but i never change :/
Again, having a damn early breakfast: a cup of Goodday Milk with twiggies!!! X) at 4 something, continued with some studies before departed to school at 7.30am.
Recently i am attending to a Christianity class called, two ways to live. i would say this class is not bad at all. it triggers me to think a lot, yet confuses me. The class was started at 8am, that's the reason why i had to go to uni. haha.
Since i still had some time before attending to CF, i went and met Shu Fang, entered her class as well. Guess what? :P Be proud of this PM3! hahah, she is the top student in her batch! Shu Fang never changes at all and still a freaking hardworking girl! :) They were having pharmacology class, same lecturer but different lecture's content :/
Then, i went for CF. It's a movie sharing day. Great discussion i had here. Thanks to sisters and brothers. Their sharings are useful to me. Thank God.
Around 5pm, Albert wanted to buy a new pair of sportshoes so i took this as an opportunity to take public transport again, to midvalley shopping mall! thank you! hah! Reason that i chose not to drive was that i never took train at night before, this tempted me. >< Since his class ended earlier, there was much time left for us to watch a movie--> PUSS IN BOOTS! damn! the cat is so darn cute! no All CATS are CUTE! i prefer cats more than dogs, to be honest :) So this movie was definitely nice to me! There's a scene that Puss was playing with the light appeared on the wall, i went all AWWW and AWWWSSS ! so lovely and adorable!!! >< and when Puss was still a baby kittieeee, YEAAAAKKK!! i felt like wanna hug PUSS!!! >.<
Anyway, the story was simple. it's watched for fun but not much catchy scenes.
Getting KTM at night was not a good idea and the people were a little fierce. Thank God that the second train was not so crowded. To me, it's spacious :) LRT was even better, there were plenty of seats and quiet:) i love the journey! Outside was black. this reminded me of spirited away again :) it's a good time that allowed me to start blank out my mind :)
Although i was tired after that, but i enjoyed myself :)
i woke up at 3am something, yeah, i never thought of changing my biological clock until now. My previous Math teacher always complaint about it but i never change :/
Again, having a damn early breakfast: a cup of Goodday Milk with twiggies!!! X) at 4 something, continued with some studies before departed to school at 7.30am.
Recently i am attending to a Christianity class called, two ways to live. i would say this class is not bad at all. it triggers me to think a lot, yet confuses me. The class was started at 8am, that's the reason why i had to go to uni. haha.
Since i still had some time before attending to CF, i went and met Shu Fang, entered her class as well. Guess what? :P Be proud of this PM3! hahah, she is the top student in her batch! Shu Fang never changes at all and still a freaking hardworking girl! :) They were having pharmacology class, same lecturer but different lecture's content :/
Then, i went for CF. It's a movie sharing day. Great discussion i had here. Thanks to sisters and brothers. Their sharings are useful to me. Thank God.
Around 5pm, Albert wanted to buy a new pair of sportshoes so i took this as an opportunity to take public transport again, to midvalley shopping mall! thank you! hah! Reason that i chose not to drive was that i never took train at night before, this tempted me. >< Since his class ended earlier, there was much time left for us to watch a movie--> PUSS IN BOOTS! damn! the cat is so darn cute! no All CATS are CUTE! i prefer cats more than dogs, to be honest :) So this movie was definitely nice to me! There's a scene that Puss was playing with the light appeared on the wall, i went all AWWW and AWWWSSS ! so lovely and adorable!!! >< and when Puss was still a baby kittieeee, YEAAAAKKK!! i felt like wanna hug PUSS!!! >.<
Anyway, the story was simple. it's watched for fun but not much catchy scenes.
Getting KTM at night was not a good idea and the people were a little fierce. Thank God that the second train was not so crowded. To me, it's spacious :) LRT was even better, there were plenty of seats and quiet:) i love the journey! Outside was black. this reminded me of spirited away again :) it's a good time that allowed me to start blank out my mind :)
Although i was tired after that, but i enjoyed myself :)
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Goodbye! Semester three!
ahhh..
what a relief! i got my results for my End of Semester 3 examination. Although the grade was a slight fall but it's seriously beyond my own expectations. i never thought that there had no even a single C for Carmen appeared on my report card. i expected that i might failed for this examination. Thank God and Praise the Lord and God!
System of the examination was changed from this year onwards: All is multiple choice question and no short answer question and essay, except for microbiology for pharmacists. Hence, this indicates that the range of questions to come out on test paper is broad and wide. You need to memorise every single details from the notes or else, try your luck by tossing the coin on that day itself. No, there are 5 to 10 options, coin with just two faces aint enough for you to try out your luck it seems. There are 30 to 40 questions in total, but contributes 70% in each paper. For aiming a pass in IMU, you got to score for at least 50%. So, you roughly know that not much questions left for you to answer them with fortune.
After sitting for the examination of this semester, i must give a great applause to my seniors. Out of eight papers, eight, yes EIGHT out of EIGHT are mostly testing your memorising skill. Sometimes reasoning and critical thinking skills can still be applied but not much. For instance, there is a paper about natural product in medicine, it's about facts of each plants or herbs, reasoning skill can only be applied on how its basic compound structure reacts with the receptors in our body, but before you can do that, try to memorise its compound structure and the functional group it possesses, and of course, its unique name. Inserting names had already caught me in trouble. What about its side effects, mechanism of action, properties..etc :( haih, i salute the pharmacists out there. Anyway, every course has its own difficulties. Got once i sipped into a lecture of medic students, all health science students must learn about body systems, however, the things that have to be learned by them, the future doctors, are far more deeper and more complete compared to us. i guess if i asked a medic friend to sit for my body system's papers, they can finish the paper pretty fast.
Well, we still need to learn something related to pharmaceutics or physical pharmacy. That's the part i love the most in this course. Seriously. They are more of like simple physics theories (very simple) or physical chemistry and seldom related to biology or organic chemistry (but still, functional groups play an important role in it too). Another paper is called as extemporaneuous skills of compounding and dispensing drug.. err.. i have forgotten its actual name, anyway, it's fun but tedious! We need to produce the products, finishing the report in time ! damn, and maximum of three writing mistakes on the reports. During the process the working place must be kept clean and tidy if not marks will be deducted. My heart was in race everytime when i was having these classes. i expected that i would fail for this subject. i was late on that examination day. Morever, i couldnt find my seat and thought that i entered the wrong laboratory. i was in panic. After i found my seat and started reading the question, shoot! my mind was blank and forgot the calculation for making the suppositories. My first set of suppositories was a big failure. i was scared. Quickly i proceeded to make another product, guess what? it's a non-removable cream =='' Since i was behind time, i left the tile uncleaned at the side and my examiner came near to my seat to deduct my marks for cleanliness. Furthermore, i used extra amount of an ingredient so my cream was yellower than others! i went to a stage of nearly craziness. The third product was emulsion, it's the easiest one, but wait, how come when i poured the mixture into the amber bottle, it seemed like less than the volumn targeted?! damn.. i was freaked out. 45 minutes left, i quickly took back my suppository report and made a big cross on the wrong formula, without concerning of that ' maximum 3 mistakes on report ' rule, rewrote the exact formula ( my God, i was so lucky that my mind remember about the formula back in time). My final suppositories were damn nice! T-T i was nearly tearing. After sticking the labels on all three containers and without double checking my reports due to lack of time, i submitted everything with a strong feeling of GG-ness.... the situation was worsen when i found out that i wrote the wrong date on the reports and labels............. ' maximum 3 mistakes on report ' rule.....
and so, i burst into tears.....
'' i have to resit for this subject... what should i do ? ''
'' even if i pass, it's definitely a C ..''
my mind couldnt think straight..
Thank to my friends, they consoled me with hugs and we had a great dinner together. Jiaying, kailing, karmen and gwen.
Few days later, Albert asked me about how i did for that test. i was crying again. haha, i think this scared him a little. sorry.
The story was not ended yet.
In my first week of study break, i received a message from my friend, i was told that Griffin was in bad situation as suddenly there was a flyer no longer joining for the cheerleading competition due to personal reasons (but forgiveable :/ ) the competition was five days later. they needed a flyer. so yeah, i ended up helping out. Before that, i was asked to in charge of fundraising for Griffin as well. Consequently, i got to taking care of the booth in the morning, at night practicing and learning the performance in a damn fast way, preparing and cooking the food for fundraising in midnight, worrying of revision everyday ( i already mentioned above, sem3 was tough), trying hard to recover myself from my personal stuff. i was in stress. So, got once when the practice didnt go well, i couldnt do a stunt so yeah, i cried again =='' damn weak me ! But thank God!!! after having a bonding session with my stunt group, i could do that ! although not 100%~ On the third day of having fun with cheerleading mates, the previous flyer appeared and she said that she was able to join again :D Great news!! :) i was quite pleasure about it lar :) at least one more burden could be taken down from my shoulder. Throughout the first week of study break, i am thankful to a fellow, i dont really want to expose that identity. Seriously, i never forget about your help. i shall record it in my diary? haha
So, i only started my revision properly in second week. i had to rush and memorised, munched the notes in two weeks time, for all 6 papers. haha, seriously, praise the Lord and God! i didnt know why i suddenly had a weird thought: God made the world in 6 days time and rest on 7th day, us the human was made according to His image, God is able, so i might also possess certain strength to work as hard as God. Although God is almighty but im just nothing without God's help. hahhaha, this was the way i pushed myself to the extreme lar.. and i enjoyed the Sundays, too. :S it means, i tried to study one paper in 2 days time.. ignoring the fact that i was exhausted to the extreme.
i felt no regret too :) because i really had fun during my study break. First week was about cheerleading and i was tossed by those old and new faces , shoulder sit, learning new dances, met new people! Great memories to be stored in mind forever!!! i love it!! <3
Second and third weeks were all about studies. Dont know lar, i am a sinner, i am sure that you guys experience that too : we always seek for God more when we are at the end of the rope. More troubles or problems i faced, the more i seeked for God. There was a Sunday Sermon about baptizing, i felt excited when i witnessed the water baptizing ceremony for the first time in my life. My previous self would never step out from my room during my study break, not even Sunday. but i did that in this critical period. LOL.. i rested myself just to test out my weird theory.
Therefore, i am grateful that my results were still roughly maintained. :) i love my God! God is able!
i am thankful to those who supported me throughout my exam month as well. Albert is a great friend to have :) Thanks for treating me as your family member :D
what a relief! i got my results for my End of Semester 3 examination. Although the grade was a slight fall but it's seriously beyond my own expectations. i never thought that there had no even a single C for Carmen appeared on my report card. i expected that i might failed for this examination. Thank God and Praise the Lord and God!
System of the examination was changed from this year onwards: All is multiple choice question and no short answer question and essay, except for microbiology for pharmacists. Hence, this indicates that the range of questions to come out on test paper is broad and wide. You need to memorise every single details from the notes or else, try your luck by tossing the coin on that day itself. No, there are 5 to 10 options, coin with just two faces aint enough for you to try out your luck it seems. There are 30 to 40 questions in total, but contributes 70% in each paper. For aiming a pass in IMU, you got to score for at least 50%. So, you roughly know that not much questions left for you to answer them with fortune.
After sitting for the examination of this semester, i must give a great applause to my seniors. Out of eight papers, eight, yes EIGHT out of EIGHT are mostly testing your memorising skill. Sometimes reasoning and critical thinking skills can still be applied but not much. For instance, there is a paper about natural product in medicine, it's about facts of each plants or herbs, reasoning skill can only be applied on how its basic compound structure reacts with the receptors in our body, but before you can do that, try to memorise its compound structure and the functional group it possesses, and of course, its unique name. Inserting names had already caught me in trouble. What about its side effects, mechanism of action, properties..etc :( haih, i salute the pharmacists out there. Anyway, every course has its own difficulties. Got once i sipped into a lecture of medic students, all health science students must learn about body systems, however, the things that have to be learned by them, the future doctors, are far more deeper and more complete compared to us. i guess if i asked a medic friend to sit for my body system's papers, they can finish the paper pretty fast.
Well, we still need to learn something related to pharmaceutics or physical pharmacy. That's the part i love the most in this course. Seriously. They are more of like simple physics theories (very simple) or physical chemistry and seldom related to biology or organic chemistry (but still, functional groups play an important role in it too). Another paper is called as extemporaneuous skills of compounding and dispensing drug.. err.. i have forgotten its actual name, anyway, it's fun but tedious! We need to produce the products, finishing the report in time ! damn, and maximum of three writing mistakes on the reports. During the process the working place must be kept clean and tidy if not marks will be deducted. My heart was in race everytime when i was having these classes. i expected that i would fail for this subject. i was late on that examination day. Morever, i couldnt find my seat and thought that i entered the wrong laboratory. i was in panic. After i found my seat and started reading the question, shoot! my mind was blank and forgot the calculation for making the suppositories. My first set of suppositories was a big failure. i was scared. Quickly i proceeded to make another product, guess what? it's a non-removable cream =='' Since i was behind time, i left the tile uncleaned at the side and my examiner came near to my seat to deduct my marks for cleanliness. Furthermore, i used extra amount of an ingredient so my cream was yellower than others! i went to a stage of nearly craziness. The third product was emulsion, it's the easiest one, but wait, how come when i poured the mixture into the amber bottle, it seemed like less than the volumn targeted?! damn.. i was freaked out. 45 minutes left, i quickly took back my suppository report and made a big cross on the wrong formula, without concerning of that ' maximum 3 mistakes on report ' rule, rewrote the exact formula ( my God, i was so lucky that my mind remember about the formula back in time). My final suppositories were damn nice! T-T i was nearly tearing. After sticking the labels on all three containers and without double checking my reports due to lack of time, i submitted everything with a strong feeling of GG-ness.... the situation was worsen when i found out that i wrote the wrong date on the reports and labels............. ' maximum 3 mistakes on report ' rule.....
and so, i burst into tears.....
'' i have to resit for this subject... what should i do ? ''
'' even if i pass, it's definitely a C ..''
my mind couldnt think straight..
Thank to my friends, they consoled me with hugs and we had a great dinner together. Jiaying, kailing, karmen and gwen.
Few days later, Albert asked me about how i did for that test. i was crying again. haha, i think this scared him a little. sorry.
The story was not ended yet.
In my first week of study break, i received a message from my friend, i was told that Griffin was in bad situation as suddenly there was a flyer no longer joining for the cheerleading competition due to personal reasons (but forgiveable :/ ) the competition was five days later. they needed a flyer. so yeah, i ended up helping out. Before that, i was asked to in charge of fundraising for Griffin as well. Consequently, i got to taking care of the booth in the morning, at night practicing and learning the performance in a damn fast way, preparing and cooking the food for fundraising in midnight, worrying of revision everyday ( i already mentioned above, sem3 was tough), trying hard to recover myself from my personal stuff. i was in stress. So, got once when the practice didnt go well, i couldnt do a stunt so yeah, i cried again =='' damn weak me ! But thank God!!! after having a bonding session with my stunt group, i could do that ! although not 100%~ On the third day of having fun with cheerleading mates, the previous flyer appeared and she said that she was able to join again :D Great news!! :) i was quite pleasure about it lar :) at least one more burden could be taken down from my shoulder. Throughout the first week of study break, i am thankful to a fellow, i dont really want to expose that identity. Seriously, i never forget about your help. i shall record it in my diary? haha
So, i only started my revision properly in second week. i had to rush and memorised, munched the notes in two weeks time, for all 6 papers. haha, seriously, praise the Lord and God! i didnt know why i suddenly had a weird thought: God made the world in 6 days time and rest on 7th day, us the human was made according to His image, God is able, so i might also possess certain strength to work as hard as God. Although God is almighty but im just nothing without God's help. hahhaha, this was the way i pushed myself to the extreme lar.. and i enjoyed the Sundays, too. :S it means, i tried to study one paper in 2 days time.. ignoring the fact that i was exhausted to the extreme.
i felt no regret too :) because i really had fun during my study break. First week was about cheerleading and i was tossed by those old and new faces , shoulder sit, learning new dances, met new people! Great memories to be stored in mind forever!!! i love it!! <3
Second and third weeks were all about studies. Dont know lar, i am a sinner, i am sure that you guys experience that too : we always seek for God more when we are at the end of the rope. More troubles or problems i faced, the more i seeked for God. There was a Sunday Sermon about baptizing, i felt excited when i witnessed the water baptizing ceremony for the first time in my life. My previous self would never step out from my room during my study break, not even Sunday. but i did that in this critical period. LOL.. i rested myself just to test out my weird theory.
Therefore, i am grateful that my results were still roughly maintained. :) i love my God! God is able!
i am thankful to those who supported me throughout my exam month as well. Albert is a great friend to have :) Thanks for treating me as your family member :D
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Changes
November is arriving soon, this indicates that year 2011 is coming to an end. This year is definitely a long period when there's lot of changes happening on me or on other people. Those matters are uncountable by just pointing out your ten fingers. Up and down all the time and the storm is like never ended. Conflicts, confusions, dilemma.. oheemmgeee... just too much of negative things!!! i felt awful as when i saw my efforts used to settle those messy wires were just helpless in my situation. But when i planned to voice out and complain about them, yelling out loud, there's something invisible stucked my mouth for sure, reason: i clearly know that complaints will bring more troubles and my life is not as worst as those people who live in true dilemmas right?? :/
And so, sooner, my temper became bad. As i didnt not find the dustbin for myself.
Anyway. That's all for now, need to off and continue to do my revision :) :) :)
And so, sooner, my temper became bad. As i didnt not find the dustbin for myself.
Anyway. That's all for now, need to off and continue to do my revision :) :) :)
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Run For Nation
It was a great event! i am really glad that i had an opportunity to be one of the volunteers in medical team! Because of this event, i learned first aid for my very first time, i took the first aid kit with me throughout the whole event and this feeling was awesome! Hehe, and thank to Paul! Even though i never learned first aid before but he still gave me a try to be the first aider! Thank to Jonathan, his batchmate, willing to spare out some of his precious time to teach me some first aid skills! For your information, i am the only one who is from pharmacy course! ahahaha... others are medic students ! >.< so you know, i was really pleasure and excited when Paul asked me! XD
Not to forget to mention about the event! It was a grand Christian event i guess :) Singapore, Australia and Cambodia did join the force! The participants, aka the runners had to pray while running, it was not an easy task. They had to be both physically and mentally strong to accomplish the task given to them. The end point was at Luther Centre. hahahhaa, this place reminded me of Chicken Siew! i will never forget about the night when we got lost in a serious jamming traffic. :( Sorry Edwin! and Xin Yi!
i had met great people, too! :) All the sharings given by the Brothers and Sisters in Christ are useful and they did really clear my messy mind out. Thank God, who controls and plans for our lives, He always know my troubles and questions, and this time He allowed me to meet them, so He used them to answer to my previous unanswered doubts. Keep on praying, Prayers work! in the name of Jesus of course, so that the conversation is only between God and you. Never run away right after the prayer, because God needs time to answer your prayer. He does talk to you and you can listen to Him with the power of Holy Spirit. Thank you God! Amen! ^^ (i tried it and somehow it worked! Amazing !! God is Awesome! Amen! )
Not to forget to mention about the event! It was a grand Christian event i guess :) Singapore, Australia and Cambodia did join the force! The participants, aka the runners had to pray while running, it was not an easy task. They had to be both physically and mentally strong to accomplish the task given to them. The end point was at Luther Centre. hahahhaa, this place reminded me of Chicken Siew! i will never forget about the night when we got lost in a serious jamming traffic. :( Sorry Edwin! and Xin Yi!
i had met great people, too! :) All the sharings given by the Brothers and Sisters in Christ are useful and they did really clear my messy mind out. Thank God, who controls and plans for our lives, He always know my troubles and questions, and this time He allowed me to meet them, so He used them to answer to my previous unanswered doubts. Keep on praying, Prayers work! in the name of Jesus of course, so that the conversation is only between God and you. Never run away right after the prayer, because God needs time to answer your prayer. He does talk to you and you can listen to Him with the power of Holy Spirit. Thank you God! Amen! ^^ (i tried it and somehow it worked! Amazing !! God is Awesome! Amen! )
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Greed
One person can be so greedy. So i do.
i desire a camera badly. But to own it, i need to start the 'bread plan' from today onwards.
What is 'bread plan'?
well, it's just a way of preventing you to feel hungry and at the same time you have saved up 80% of your pocket money. Hmm, maybe 90%.
Once i get that amount of money, it does not mean that i will own that camera, too. Because by that time, i think i will save up that money and keep it for another thing. oh well.
This picture reminded me of one night when i went out and dined with my friends at a restaurant.
Few seconds later, my mother called me and asked..
'' hey, going out and eat at restaurant? what had you ordered ? ''
and i answered
'' err.. garlic bread? '' (ps: 'bread plan' )
then, my friends started to laugh.
i desire a camera badly. But to own it, i need to start the 'bread plan' from today onwards.
What is 'bread plan'?
well, it's just a way of preventing you to feel hungry and at the same time you have saved up 80% of your pocket money. Hmm, maybe 90%.
Once i get that amount of money, it does not mean that i will own that camera, too. Because by that time, i think i will save up that money and keep it for another thing. oh well.
This picture reminded me of one night when i went out and dined with my friends at a restaurant.
Few seconds later, my mother called me and asked..
'' hey, going out and eat at restaurant? what had you ordered ? ''
and i answered
'' err.. garlic bread? '' (ps: 'bread plan' )
then, my friends started to laugh.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
You cannot give to others what you do not have yourself. First, make yourself emotionally, physically, spiritually wealthy, and then freely give to others.
:)
aha! finally finished the second drama in this raya break! 'sungkyunkwan scandal' :D after watching city hunter and this drama, i found out that i actually quite enjoy those drama which are classified into period as their genres more. For instance, this 'la', taechangkeum, hwangjinyi. Sungkyunkwan Scandal is set in Sungkyunkwan University in the late Joseon era during the reign of King Jeongjo, revolving around the exploits and love stories of four youths. When her younger brother's illness worsens and their family is in danger of being evicted from their house for lack of money, Kim Yoon Hee enters the school under his name, disguised as a boy in her desperation to support him. There, she becomes friends with the intelligent and upright Lee Sun Joon, the playboy Goo Yong Ha and rebellious Moon Jae Shin. Anyway, have this kind of matters ever happened in the past before? i would be proud of that girl.
Another moral issue which has been mentioned in the drama is that what will you do as a child, when you know about your dad, the person who once you respected the most, the person who is your role model since the day you're born to this world, had been doing immoral things.
‘舍身取义'
After knowing the truth behind, you're taught to forgive him. But, the problem is how are you able to say ' i forgive you' as when he doesnt even bother to admit his own fault in front of you and provides that opportunity for you to do so? Escapism and ignorance are not the best solutions because the roots of the problem will only grow deeper and as time passes by it will be more difficult to pluck it out of the ground. Disappointment seeds within child's mind because the child loves his dad too much.
How cant the dad understand how his child feels? Ego and pride and status and shamefulness? Then where are the love, fairness, teachings, acknowledgements?
' once you have done wrong, stand up and admit it. '
To every parent, it will only be a heartaching say to your children if you do not even make it as your own principle but use that kind of theory to teach your children. Because you dont even bother to show the right attitude to your children. Credibility and reliability of a life teacher will just be gone like that.
It's too painful to the children of yours because they love you too much.
So, please be a real role model, let the children to be proud of you and let them wont have any second thought on what you did.
人·。
:)
aha! finally finished the second drama in this raya break! 'sungkyunkwan scandal' :D after watching city hunter and this drama, i found out that i actually quite enjoy those drama which are classified into period as their genres more. For instance, this 'la', taechangkeum, hwangjinyi. Sungkyunkwan Scandal is set in Sungkyunkwan University in the late Joseon era during the reign of King Jeongjo, revolving around the exploits and love stories of four youths. When her younger brother's illness worsens and their family is in danger of being evicted from their house for lack of money, Kim Yoon Hee enters the school under his name, disguised as a boy in her desperation to support him. There, she becomes friends with the intelligent and upright Lee Sun Joon, the playboy Goo Yong Ha and rebellious Moon Jae Shin. Anyway, have this kind of matters ever happened in the past before? i would be proud of that girl.
Another moral issue which has been mentioned in the drama is that what will you do as a child, when you know about your dad, the person who once you respected the most, the person who is your role model since the day you're born to this world, had been doing immoral things.
‘舍身取义'
After knowing the truth behind, you're taught to forgive him. But, the problem is how are you able to say ' i forgive you' as when he doesnt even bother to admit his own fault in front of you and provides that opportunity for you to do so? Escapism and ignorance are not the best solutions because the roots of the problem will only grow deeper and as time passes by it will be more difficult to pluck it out of the ground. Disappointment seeds within child's mind because the child loves his dad too much.
How cant the dad understand how his child feels? Ego and pride and status and shamefulness? Then where are the love, fairness, teachings, acknowledgements?
' once you have done wrong, stand up and admit it. '
To every parent, it will only be a heartaching say to your children if you do not even make it as your own principle but use that kind of theory to teach your children. Because you dont even bother to show the right attitude to your children. Credibility and reliability of a life teacher will just be gone like that.
It's too painful to the children of yours because they love you too much.
So, please be a real role model, let the children to be proud of you and let them wont have any second thought on what you did.
人·。
Sunday, August 28, 2011
city hunter :)
suddenly! :)
liking someone is a fortune.
liking someone is a happiness.
these are the values i have learned from the drama. :)
so, am i brave enough to say it out loud like kim nana? :P neh, im just 20! no way i will do that until i become an adult.
Friday, July 29, 2011
hwang jin yi!!!!
Thanks to Secret Garden!!! i finally found out the actual name for my favourite drama!!!!! T__________T
'Hwang Jin Yi'
i love her so much! the OST!!!! XD !!!
WEEEXXXX this is awesome!!!!
and the most awesome one is here!!! (scroll down to the last video!!!! )
YEAKKKK!!!! love this drama so much!!! <3 X)
'Hwang Jin Yi'
i love her so much! the OST!!!! XD !!!
WEEEXXXX this is awesome!!!!
and the most awesome one is here!!! (scroll down to the last video!!!! )
YEAKKKK!!!! love this drama so much!!! <3 X)
Thursday, June 30, 2011
better piece of trash
Just came back from cinema, and yeap! :D i just watched it!!! one of the big hits of 2011's summer!!! Transformers: Dark of the moon.
At 10a.m. we headed to Summit at first. Lucky angel was not with us as the seats were almost booked and bought by others. Well, due to my father has to go outstation tomorrow so we did try our luck and drove to pyramid. AHA! we got the tickets! fyi, the seats were not bad, too.
Showing time was 2 p.m. Thus, i entered arcade to spend my spare time. err..no comment to my scores. -_-''
Movie began. Front part of it was pretty lengthy. Excitement and climax were at the back part. you know, those fighting scenes and shedding of lubricant oil. Slightly disappointed by how the director put the war to the end.
"why do always decepticons get better piece of trash?! "
hmm.. i like this statement.
another recommendation :)
At 10a.m. we headed to Summit at first. Lucky angel was not with us as the seats were almost booked and bought by others. Well, due to my father has to go outstation tomorrow so we did try our luck and drove to pyramid. AHA! we got the tickets! fyi, the seats were not bad, too.
Showing time was 2 p.m. Thus, i entered arcade to spend my spare time. err..no comment to my scores. -_-''
Movie began. Front part of it was pretty lengthy. Excitement and climax were at the back part. you know, those fighting scenes and shedding of lubricant oil. Slightly disappointed by how the director put the war to the end.
"why do always decepticons get better piece of trash?! "
hmm.. i like this statement.
another recommendation :)
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