Fish and water.

Fish: you are so beautiful. i think im in love with you.
Water: you silly being, it's just a sudden affection.
Fish: really! i wont lie to you.
Water: i dont believe in love at first sight.

Day by day, the fish's feeling towards the water wasnt faded away but grew even stronger.
Fish: i like to be with you.
Water: it's due to you have get used to tag along with me.
Fish: i like your scent.
Water: it's because of you have get used to my existence.

Few days later, water wanted to leave and started its journey.
Fish: i cant leave you and want to stay with you forever.
Water: by time passes by, you will forget about me.
Fish: no! i will not fall in love with the others except you.
Water: it's because that you havent met other people besides me right now.
Fish: you are my everything.
Water: but you are not to me.

Fish: what are you longing for?
Water: the sea is my only one.
Fish: couldnt you stay here for my sake?
Water: no, i really have to go, or else i will lose my chance to meet the sea.
Fish: can i come with you?
Water: you will never ever follow up my pace.
Fish: cant you stop a while for my sake?
Water: i love to proceed with my plan without resting.

Fish: no matter what, i will swim and stay with you until you reach your destination.
Water: dont be silly, you are just a river fish.
Fish: i dont want you to be alone whenever you face obstacles.
Water: i will not appreciate your kindness.
Fish: i dont ask for it, i just want to stay with you.
Water: you know, i will love you back.
Fish: it's my own decision to love you dear.
Water: you are just getting to hurt yourself.

They reached the big river, the fish had half of its life remained.
Fish: i am unsure if i still can follow you or not.
Water: please go back home, this kind of life doenst suit you at all.
Fish: no, i will not give up.
Water: you idiot.. please be rational.
Fish: yes i am an idiot, can you accept the love from me?
Water: you should know that my heart belongs to the sea only.
Fish: why dont you try to love me?
Water: i only believe that the sea is the right one for me.

They continue their journey, fish's lifespan left for about a quarter.
Fish: how will you be if i m no longer be with you?
Water: i will be down.
Fish: what if the person is the sea?
Water: my heart will be broken, and i will die along with the sea.
Fish: why? i always stay with you, isnt it even more precious than the sea whom you havent even met it yet?
Water: living together without feeling is just some spare memories.
Fish: you believe that the sea will love you back?
Water: Sea is my only dream, my desire and i will never give up on it.

Fish kept silent and continued the remaining distance towards the sea.
Finally, both of them met the sea.
Water saw the sea but it knew that it will never be the only one for the sea.
the sea was so great and it had a lot of companies around it.
Water disliked it and it decided to leave.

At this moment, water thought of the fish, but the fish will be death soon.
Fish: i saw the sea, it's beautiful, i agree,the sea deserves you more.
Water: but i feel the sea is too mysterious.
Fish: dont worry, im sure that one day the sea will fall in love with you as well.
Water: i think i made a wrong decision.
Fish: you silly, your love to sea is so great, it isnt wrong kay?
Water: i am an idiot, why i never love you back although you never leave me always?

Fish: i think i no longer can fulfill that promise.
Water: cant you just stay again for my sake?
Fish: ... it's my decision to love you, but i never ask for you to take up this responsibility.
Water: why i was so stubborn last time and didnt love you back?!
Fish: please dont say that, i will not feel well at all to leave like this.

Water: why you always treat me so good, i....
Fish: forget about me, try to find someone better kay?
Water: no, i realised that you are the only one who deserve my love.
Fish: but i dont have time for you anymore.. sorry.
Water: i had missed all the chances that you gave me last time! i dont want to miss it again!!!
Fish: ....
Water: i think i really fall in love with you, my fish.

Fish: ah, you cant see my tear right? because im in you.
Water: no! i can feel it!! because you are in my heart.

Fish passed away with a smile, a heart was broken.




Fish:




Water:

wooo..

爱一个人，是心中放不下的人，
而不是那个，寂寞才想起的人。

好朋友与爱一个人，虽两感觉很相识，可是就是有这样的区别。

wait. patience!

what is wrong with being single?

doesnt it better just to be patient?

:)

i believe in my God will provide what i need :) thank you!

Perhaps, staying single is the best condition for the current me? Because i know that i am still too immature to handle relationship well enough :)

Relationship with God,

Relationship with parents,

Relationship with family members,

Relationship with friends,

Relationship with teachers,

Relationship with ........

Just be patient, just wait. Because God also knows that i need time to stabalise various kind of relationships that i mentioned above. heh ~ ^^ before proceeding to next stage :)

Recurrence

Nah, it is not about the feeling towards the guy i love though. It's about the recurrence of a thought which i planned to carry out since i was a teenager. (i know right, my look is like a 15 year old girl, but the truth is i am turning 21 soon)

These few days were gloomy.

i was scared.

i never felt that way so strong again.

The more i grew, more thoughts that i imagined or dreamed of happened in my life right now, or becoming more and more realistic. They became something that i can achieve in the future.

Both bad and good ones.

i have been trying to throw away my previous self. But it seems like, they try to stick back to me again.

i am scared and confused with what i want right now.

i had been crying at night till morning. That's the only period that i can hide away my tears silently without my mother knows about it. i am unsure if my brother heard to my cry or not.

i..

started to lose my faith and belief towards males again.

i..

started not to believe in marriage.

i..

have a thought of being a sister or nun in the future once again.

Attachment and love are scary.

i am afraid of loving.

No one i can trust now until i started to imagine out my 'imaginary friend' to accompany me.

People believe that God is the representative of love.

But us the sinners, broke and cut the perfect relationship between us and the Holy God, until we no longer understand Him. And now, i dont understand love, like how i dont understand my God.




today was a gloomy day, and i cry.