Always Linkin park X)

before the departure, post something which i love for long until now



improvision

greed comes in now...

heh...feeling not enough!!! want somemore!!!



numb+ kingdom hearts!!!! who wants to play? >< let's dont let it stops!

the official video :D...XD

nah, im quite out-dated..now only post it up, =)..knew this song in form one? i guess. my friend played it with her piano... then only got to know about linkin park..

<<<<... become more like me, become less like you...>>>

photo!editor

after playing with the tool, named photo!Editor yesterday, im quite addicted to it. looking at the clock on the table, there's still some time left for me to do some random stuff before getting back to my work.

there's been quite a long time that i didnt draw this type of drawing, aih... practice makes perfect, this maxim is experimentally proven( it is some sort of reminding me of the definition of rate of reaction). the eyes were drawn too big. and the shading at neck region. T.T it really spoiled the whole thing. i only noticed that mistake after uploaded it. will correct it later. sigh.

 i m not good at art at all. but, at least i have fun. weex~

original one is at the left while the right one was enhanced. the contrast of the image was improved by using the lighting tool. 

then, it's time to try something new again!!!

*

*

*

im pretty impressed by the technology today.

=)

ps: hehe, i forgot to remove the rubber dusts before taking the photo.X)

a practice :)

好幾天 了沒有 你的 消息
才發現 其實 想著 你
當愛被 緊緊的 鎖在 心底
自由就 張開翅膀 飛出去
還需要 一點 幽默的心情
才能 面對你 失望的離去
快樂的 氣氛也許 能暫時逃避
卻又讓 傷害 更徹底
我被 恐懼 深深的囚禁
我沒有 力氣 逃出 去
每一天 都是 新的 練習
用今天 換走 過去
用明天 換走 失去的

My day =)

today was a not- so- busy day. =) after having my breakfast, tada~ a japanese pancake, aka doraemon's favourite food, i was starting to tidy up my room. ( Just to make it cleaner, k ? )

and i found something which's quite interesting...

WOOT! it's a tiny ...short pencil !!!

i did not know that i 'treaten' this little pencil until like this last time.

taking out a piece of blank paper from the drawer, using this lil to draw...

ancient lady sitting calmly beside the water lily =)

after editing it with photoshop, the effect isnt bad, though X)

~another funny thought~

- End-

mind

human tends to be forgetful, to be absent minded, so do i.

if you want to achieve something, effort and deed are essential tools.

i am trying my best to capture them back into the rusty cage. although it would be fragmentised.

live simply, love generously, care deeply and think deeply




observing the trees again =)

the debt

looking at the list i had written, everything was settled except a drawing. thus, telling myself no matter how lazy i am, i shall have to draw at least a simple one for her. as you see, the drawing above does not seem to be nice, yet it is simple. supposedly i decided to draw her a nicer version like sketching more than one character, somehow it turned up like this, just edward. ( ps: i used to draw black and white, with some shading only ) i felt sorry to that, hence i SIMPLY ( see... it is an evidence to prove that im truly lazy ^.^ ) coloured it to make it to have a more 'lively' look.

yesterday was the best.

i could stay at home whole day and had my plan done smoothly. =D chatting with some friends and there was a conversation like this>>>

G:'' studying?''

me:'' huh? why?! nolar!! holiday leh~''

>< "

what has made him to think that i am studying? LOL..anywhere, to be honest to him, there were really some stationaries placed in front of me.

heh~

yawning~

it's 12.19 am. ah, i should have went to my bed. but im pretty sure that i will not fall in sleep that fast. mind is jammed with load of stupid thoughts. it has been killing me for few days! today is the 5th day. and i still  cannot clear that away, see how troublesome it is. i told myself, once it has solved, i will not get involved in it anymore. yes, bring more bricks and build it higher!

blog should not be a place for me to express my innermost feeling. this is not safe. hence, this will be my last moody post, i promise.

plan

i saw a novel. >< wait for me to get you, k? and here is the trailer of its movie =)

reset=)

im back! few hours lying on the bed to regain back my energy. phew...finally, my mind turned clear and calm. thanks to my friend, after spilling my worries out to him, talking some nonsense, comparing who is the richest one, ah... my mind got rid of that kind of strange feeling. i have reset my mind, i can smile at people with sincerity. i dont feel any guilty when typing the smiley face again. im happy right now.

yeah, i feel it. the 'heaviness-less' ^^

come on, babe! im not afraid of you anymore! RAWR with full of spirit! im not that weak! hold my sword firmly and be a Real Fighter..

PANG PANG~.!!!!..no bleed no gain, ah, for my case should be said as

no tear no gain =)

hehe

mum's bday 2010~

it's 15th June. A day which should not be forgotten in my whole life. as it is same for my mum,too. Yes! it's her birthday again. she was excited throughout the day. i wonder if i will react in the same way as she does during my birthday or not in the future. well, it's not a bad thing i guess, it shows that her cherished attitude is still instilled within herself deeply. i hope that she will be always the same forever and ever =).

June, a month which makes me headache for every year. i still couldnt escape myself from this dilemma. this even grows much more greater than previous years. i couldnt sleep by just kept thinking the gift for my mum. the matter was worsen when father's day was around the corner as well. 

 cards? cake? what should i buy for their present? they already have everything. and im not working, cant afford to buy a LV bag for her, cant afford to buy adidas shirt for him..i was depressed of lacking of money. money is the root of devil. somehow it is indeed important in our lives. well, since i couldnt get the stuff they love, i should give them something which is memorable yet touching one.

urm....headache. i was lack of idea for this year. i had cooked for them once( but i was too clumsy, using black vinegar instead of white, my mum asked me to throw that dish away. heartache) , woke them up when they were in their sweet dreams, just to let them to walk down the stairs which was decorated with candles and balloon( suprisingly, the effect wasnt bad. after blowing the candle, they asked us to go back to bed ), belanja them dinner( broda and i just had enough money to bring them to a better restaurant ), giving them hand made voucher( maid ), heart made with money( whoah, my mum's still keeping it in an ), hand made worldcup keychain( lol, i wasnt skillful enough at that time, the chain was dropped)  present below their pillows, etc etc...SO, WHAT IS ABOUT THIS TIME?

finally! i saw something! thank you to that CAL graduation night.

what about making a slide presentation? sorry, this idea hasnt been tried by me for the last few years. taking out all the old album, choosing some of the photos, starting from their young leng lui and leng zai photos, married, having children, vacation, till recent ones~...!!! XD...i like to do this kind of stuff. will they like it?=P..the answer was clear and easy to be guessed.

but....i dont think it's enough for my mum. on her birthday itself, i guess i need to prepare something for her. woot, angel of idea was by my side. i did remember she is lack of something, and it's still within my budget.

hehe..here it is. x)

after visiting the hostel, there's a gathering. my mum's one. as usual, i was told to follow her this time. it wasnt bad, though. and it's quite a long time i never met them. they are auntie michelle, auntie julie and auntie julia. auntie peggy couldnt make it this time, im sorry for knowing about her baby girl's matter. best wishes from us. meanwhile ms sally, lol, she 's the busiest woman i ever met! i questioned myself, when will she be free?

besides them, husband and sons of auntie michelle did come along with her. this was the first time i met him and their sons. LOL!!! after knowing my real age, he kept teasing me. =,=...he said if he drove on the road and saw me driving beside his car, he willl think that im driving illegally.

'' HAHAHA...a 15 year old girl can drive already!! how amazing it is!!! HAHAHA....''

anywhere, i will take this as a compliment. pff~

the case turned bad as auntie julia arrived. my face turned into tomato. ( my mum told me at home)

'' oh, you should be standard 5 right? same age as my daughter. ''

'' WAHAHAHHAHA.....''

the uncle laughed the loudest. me myself also laughed until got stomachache again.

the hilarious uncle and his 4 month old son XD..

however, he is such a good husband and father, i could see it! hehe..quite shy to say that, i wish to have a partner like him...LOL..=X. he respects his wife and they are taking care of their sons together, what a happy family. he even accompanied his wife to attend for her gathering. when his wife was chitchatting with her friends, he will listen and try to involve himself in the conversation, helping her to take care of the baby... IT SHOULD BE IN THIS WAY! GUYS! PLEASE LEARN THIS ATTITUDE FROM HIM!!!

after meeting this uncle, i could understand that why mum always praises husband of auntie michelle is a very nice man. no wonder she kept asking me to find a guy who is friendly and talkative ( not that ''aggresive'') but not a guy like a wood. .... =X...(hehe...my dad isnt bad too...dont worry lar...hahahaha)

hmmm...time flied and they had been chitchating for 2 and a half hours. woot, i didnt feel it's boring,though..hahahaha...especially auntie michelle always complained about her body size, nah..she just gave birth to a baby boy mah. she was frustrated when seeing my mother is still as fit as fiddle, as it is same to auntie julia.

'' noway! i must slim down within these few months!!! ''

'' i asked her to attend for my function. but she rejected me you know. '' the uncle said

'' he is truly devil!!! you know the theme of the funtion is ''shock''... and he asked me to go there and shock the people...!''

laughter burst in the air~ LOL

'' aiyor, everyone knows that you had just given birth. the function is in july, by that time are you ready? ''

'' hmm...let see how many kg i can slim down by that time first...''

i really like them. =)

the bell rang, the cinderella had to leave by now. hehe, my dad was waiting for mum actually, bringing her out to makan.

mum and dad =)

broda fell asleep while waiting for the course

i wonder if there's a coconut falls onto his head.

*******

people of the day

baby boy little marvin XD

not forgot to take a photo of him before we left

*******************************************************

( last year's photo during the vampire's fever)

hmm...i know im childish. i guess they are right. great to be primary school student.

by the way! i read a news about the primary school students. =_=..what were they thinking about?!!!

They are so wrong of doing that. quite emo about that. where's the pure minded student?!

School supposed to be a place to educate people, and they learn the right, moral values from there.

Im start thinking of the bad influences from the multimedia. =(..society has a role in it too.

i thought that the government had banned it long time ago? sigh...

end

the stars fallen and the sky appeared dark.
no light,
it's dimmed.
hear of endless sighs
swim it trough, still
walk across, though
be brave
a metal heart
but your steel knife cut it through
harmed, hurted.
the soul was bleeding
blended with
the colour of sorrow
it's black, still.
nothing will change.

mentally distorded

There's a BBQ party organised by my class today. somehow i didn't manage to experience this joyful moment with them. due to that reason I'm now having a chance to blog, check mails and facebook etc.

a mixture of feelings is disturbing me. there's a very high probability that i will be repeating my previous mistake again. I'm scared of myself.

for this time, ignorance and consistence. which one is the best solution?

ignorance won for previous round. thus, should i have to be consistent about it?

whatever...

i just ignore it again!!! stupid me...

O_O!!!!

errr...

is there anything strange in the photo? be observant..

i give you 10 seconds.

**********

hmm, still cant figure it out?never mind, i give you to have second try.

but, the time given will be shorten, 3 seconds.

let's see....

clear enough, doesnt it?

somehow, i think yensan needs a clearer, magnified photo.

is a lizard, but smart one. anyone wants it to be your pet? the lizards in my house are trained well. they are skilled in searching, for instance, food.

they are undergoing inbreeding to make sure that this advantageous allele is being pass on to their next generation.

the lizard in the photo is grandgrandgrandson.

interested to adopt one, do contact me.

America's got Talent!

X)!!!! listen!!!! super nice...

...沉默

她独立，好强，宁愿忍受太多的寂寞和痛苦也不愿向别人提起。



其实骨子里，渴望有一个避风港湾，让她去依靠。但她不会承 认。



她必须确定那个人是否可以承受得了这一切，承受她的撒娇、 她的无理取闹，她的倔强，她的悲观，她所有的性格缺陷，且对 她永远不离不弃。



只有这样，她才放心，可以放心去继续做自己，不会害怕有一天 将要面对失去。



如果没有，那么她只好继续寂寞和孤独。



她会和每个异性朋友大声说笑，无所顾忌。但是，当他们向她表 达爱意时，她却开始像刺猬一样，保护自己。



她对爱情没有安全感，也不会给别人安全感。



其实她要的并不多，只是一个对的人，一个温暖的家。这对她 来说太重要了，虽然在她口中说出来的却是:我不需要爱情。



当你紧张她的异性朋友，她会一面跟你说，他只是我的谁谁谁， 却一面偷偷在意你的感受……



她会希望现在的他是怎样怎样的，有各种各样的挑剔苛求的条 件。她只不过是想要一个用努力来证明爱她的人，她不求结果， 只希望你有那份心。



对她们而言,唯一具备杀伤力的只有感情，感情如果受到挫折， 要么毁了她们，要么成就了她们。从此更加漠然，专注于事业。



她分手后绝不会在人面前要死要活，她嬉笑怒闹，变得更加开 朗。在听到朋友说有关他的话题时，从不刻意回避，她适当 参与，淡然微笑，她的表现总会遭人怀疑这段感情的深浅， 而人群中只有那些知道背后情节的人才看见她背后的眼泪和努 力。



她会在不开心的时候，放声大哭。这对她来说，是一种释放。



即使在你爱着她的时候，她也会胡思乱想让自己悲伤。



如果你看到她的眼泪，请相信这绝不是她在博取同情，这是她这 样一颗内心骄傲的女子不得已的场景。



她想对你负责，对她负责，对自己的过去和未来负责，但请你不 要轻易给她承诺和誓言。她很难相信。



即使她很难相信，但她还是会选择等待。



她的伤初始浓烈似酒，很快就会变为一杯水，却让水渗入生活， 成为点点滴滴，她选择在其中淡定，在其中沉默和内伤。



她就是这样，强势，霸道，任性，不会讨人欢心，死要面子，她 爱朋友多过你……



她最有保护欲，最强势，最敏感，最暴躁，最善变，最没耐心， 最冲动，最耐不住寂寞却又喜欢假惺惺地让自己一个人呆着。



有时候她又充满阳光的气息，爱笑爱说话，活蹦乱跳，乐观开 朗……



她很自私，只愿意与人同甘，不愿意让别人跟她共苦，她不想成 为别人的负担……



她喜欢热闹，总会成为聚会的焦点，前提是她想。



她也享受孤独，会静坐在一个人的房间听着很伤感的音乐。



她也会一整天呆在房间里心情压抑低落，但第二天一早起来， 又会轻轻松松地打理一切，慌慌忙忙地往外冲。



她习惯在人前表现得很坚强，一副大女子主义的模样。



她会想，遇到真正懂她爱她宠她的人,她就一定就会很安静， 心甘情愿地安静下来，不烦，不闹，按时吃饭，按时睡觉，按时 做一切能安心和他一起做的事情。



她从不轻言爱，她的爱很沉默，那并非是因为她缺少那份勇气， 在她的心里有一道栅栏，那就是自尊。



她看得比生命更尊贵的自尊。



如果有一个这样的女孩对你说她爱你，那就代表在她的心里你的 份量胜过了她的自尊。



你不了解她，不懂她的好，就别爱她。



她会在真正爱她的人面前卸掉所有的盔甲和伪装，做个幸福的小 女人。



她不忙的时候会希望每天缠着你，偶尔无理取闹地要你陪着她， 希望你的所有行动都让她知道，因为在她心里，你就是她的……



她也会幻想，在遇到真正的他时,会在他累的时候悄悄熬上点营 养粥，然后送到他跟前，静静地看着他喝完。



她在你面前永远调皮捣蛋，偶尔撒撒娇，跟你玩小孩子的游戏， 在你朋友面前从来大方得体，微笑地依偎在你身边。



她不让你给她买这买那，她会说，我啊，是大女人，不喜欢小 男人给我买单……但是心里却会为你私自买给她的礼物而暗自开 心，因为女人觉得那是你的宠爱。



她在意的是你的心，你若真心，她必然实意。最起码你得表现得 真心,能让她感觉得到。



她会经常冒出些新鲜的想法来调剂生活，她的多变有时会让你不 安。



终有一天,她的敏感在你的呵护下慢慢消失不见，她的倔强被你 的保护软化，她的伪装在你面前被轻易识穿……



得到她，别骄傲，因为没有人可以吃定她。她是完美主义，对感 情，容不得一点瑕疵。



只有懂她的人，才会得到她的好。



她有时是有些迟钝的，在感情方面，但有时很敏感，因为她在 乎。



所以，别爱这样的女孩，她太骄傲，太偏激，太粗心，又太敏 感，太难伺候，太不温柔……



如果你没勇气，没能力可以坚持爱她，就不要打扰她。



因为如果你会离开，她的心将会永远冰封，再也不会为任何人打 开……


文笔并没那么顺畅, 上篇文章是从某个地方摘取的. 也许这样的她会令人感到烦厌, 另人费解, 但难道开始的时候她是这样子的吗? 显然的, 否...当她还是婴儿, 思想依然单纯, 认为身边每个事物都是美好的. 但她正要去了解外面的花花世界时, 她只不过比别人不幸一点儿, 有机会让她看到感情世界, 较丑陋的一面. 从而在她的内心建起了难以让人跨过的高墙. 她害怕, 因此学会了逃避来保护自己. 别忘了, 人类只不过机智较高的生物, 动物的本性依然渗进他们的骨子里, 他们天生就懂得保护自己, 与他人不同的, 就只有将墙建立在别处, 高, 或矮罢了.

这纯属本人的看法. 不过这并不意味着我不相信世界上有完美真实的感情.

毕

my trueself is full of energy and confidence.

i am unpredictable,

with moods changing as quickly as ocean.

i might occasionally be calm and still,

but never for long.

i am hiding my trueself

i am a dork =)

Poem

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me.

Black as a Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried

aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find, me una-

fraid.

It matters not how strait the

gate,

How charged with punishments

the scroll.

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

~William Ernest Henley (1849-1902)

we take full responsibility for our actions and we strive to '' act in good faith''. when the chips are down, it is time to take charge.

- picked from an article - =)

Happy world Milk DAy!!!

i never knew that there is such a celebration called ' world milk day' until i had read today's newspaper!!

as for a dairy product's fan like me, of course i will write a post about it! promoting promoting!!!~


yummy yummy!!!

so, let's have a glass of milk today instead of beer X)...healthier choice and let you have a good night sleep..phew..thank goodness that no any test for tomorrow.. if so i'd rather drink a cup of coffee than milk to boost up my mind. i know that it isnt good at all for having coffee at night. for the sake of better results ( not excellent, all i just need is just a not-so-bad grade, k ), who cares about its side effect,huh? lol.. ignore what i have said, it sounds ridiculous. health should be place in first. =)..so far i just allow myself to consume maximum one cup of it per day, then serve it with crackers, cookies, cakes etc X)...yummy! anywhere, milk is still the best company amongst of all.

lately i have been watching a hongkong drama (hehe, typical chinese? ^^) ' mysteries of love'. although it is about love however i m more liking to study the physics theories mentioned in the drama. raymond lam acted as physician and was called the young genius by the society, helping the inspector to solve the cases with physics! for instance, momentum, interference, reflection of light, em ( light ) spectrum, particle and antiparticle, matter, radio signal..were mentioned just in these 6 episodes. hence im looking forward to know anything else which would be explained by him in the coming episodes. (err, since it's just drama, the theories he explained are still understandable, within our syllubus ma)

i guess i will stop my physics study by this month, sayonara. all my physics teachers rock! ( im not good at it, though )

about its love story, it sounds so real to me, just like it always happens in reality, having feelings for a person but both of them have obsolute different interests and personalities. achievements and family background, in add. due to those factors one tries to let go of feelings for another, which seems so killing.

thinking and longing in secret is an absolute waste of time.

anyhow, the director will still plot out a perfect ending for both of them, they will be blessed in the church^^... in reality? perhaps not. =)

oh well, best wishes from me for all the lovers of this whole wide world. ~clover~